Transcript: Nigerian Job Markets, Nu-Metal, and Kitty Cats

Searchin USA
Episode “Job Market, Nu-metal, Kitty cats”

Paul: Tristan has one job that is finding me Evian and corn chips whenever I want them. What’s so f**cking hard about tat, Oh. Ha, ha, ha! Hey welcome to searchin USA the show where we peek up the internets skirt and make fun of those googlers. Some of this material may not be suitable for children or whatever. So you might want to duct tape them inside a closet or something. Let’s go.
First off lets run down my top ten WTF or why the fuss, searches for last week. Number five, bathroom pranks. Some people rent Ben Stiller films, and others can’t handle all that narrative fluff so they cut right to the chase to get their bathroom humor redux.
Number four, pictures of cats. Grandma get off the internet so I can look up my bathroom pranks. Three pick up lines. If you have to search for these on the internet you are better off staying in your parent’s basement where you belong. Two, newspaper obituaries. It’s like the phonebook, but more dead. And my number one WTF search of the week is jobs in Nigeria. Once they filled that night manager position down at Taco Bell, you figured you would take your job search elsewhere. Like Africa.
God it’s like the dessert in here.
Announcer: Hey whose doing some searching?
Paul: Up next a segment I call, thunder dome. Where we take two searches from the top one thousand and compares which one appears higher on the list.
So who wins if we pit the undisputed greatest most successful band of all time. The Beatles, vs. the greatest white trash metal rap rockers of all time Linken Park. If you guessed the Beatles, then you have a brain. Coming in a six hundred, the fab four are no match for Linken Park, who peer down from their ivory tower at number sixty. This only goes to prove that pop music has only grown from the quality and grace since the heyday of our famous little hoodwinks.
Buffalo wings if they have them.
Announcer: AFGDOPZ
Paul: And now for misspellings. Where we feature a search that so many people couldn’t spell it correctly it actually made it into the top one thousand. So last week thousands upon thousands of you searched for utube. A wildly popular site that sells pipe fittings and roller formed equipment. As opposed to more important things like home videos of bathroom pranks.
Ok, that’s all I got. I am going to go curl up with a warm cup of ovaltine with my favorite newspaper obituaries. I will see you next week, keep searching USA.