Transcript: Kid-Puter Korner

Backpack Picnic
Episode “Kid-puter corner”

Rolled Split: Hello I am Clay, from Split Stream. There is trouble in Africa. In the form of tiny microbes. We need to eradicate the disease not the people. It’s up to you, and your friends to change the world. Log onto sayitstraight.corn. Find all kinds of fun ways you can get involved. Like making your won crossword puzzle. Goodnight. Was that alright?
Announcer: Lets all go to computer corner. At the intersection of, kids and computers. There is a factory, and lots of tings to see, and hear and read, and memorize things. If your moms going to trip you better warn her. Computer corner.
Marcus: Ooh look out mom! Oh sorry. I guess I shouldn’t leave my toys lying around. What with gravity and all.
Mom: Just look at this mess Marcus.
Marcus: Oh, your voice…
Mom: Just look at this mess Marcus. You made me fall down.
Marcus: Well don’t blame me, blame science.
Mom: Science made me fall?
Marcus: Sure, with gravity. A mysterious force of nature, first identified by Sir Isaac Newton, and later explained by Albert Einstein.
Mom: Well then I hate science.
Marcus: Me too.
Both: Let’s get rid of it.
We must eradicate science. Right off the face of the earth. We must endeavor to wipe it out. Cause science can be tricky when you don’t know what it’s all about. It defeats you with robots, or it trips you with gravity. Or solves all your problems like curing fatal disease. So science does a few good things. Well sure but so does a gun, if it falls into the wrong hands man.
Science could be used to kill our families and everyone.
Mom: Ok Marcus you have got me convinced, but how do we get rid of science.
Marcus: Well first we will have to state our hypothesis. Explaining how we will determine if a given substance is science.
Mom: I see.
Marcus: Mmhmm, then we’ll perform calculated test. Measuring our results to a control group, until we can prove something is science.
Mom: Then we can destroy it.
Marcus: Oh my gosh. I just thought of a problem. That we use lots of science, to podcast my show.
Mom: Oh my gosh, do cars count as science. I drive to my mom’s house to do all my laundry. I think every machine involves science.
Both: Even washers and driers, this is morally ambiguous. We should simply stop thinking for ourselves, and to turn to god. Al of our problems will be solved. As long as everybody believes the same. And no one asks a question or gets sick, we will al be fine.
Marcus: Whelp, that’s what happened this week on Kid-puter corner. Hoped you had a blast and learned a thing or two. And as always we are actively seeking financiers and producers to help us take kid-puter corner to the next level. Interested parties can find all my contact info, at the kid-puter corner homepage.