Searchin USA Episode “Diversity, French chicks, wedding vows” Paul: Oh, gutentag Google heads welcome to Searchin USA, the searchenist show in… I can’t do this, is too hot. It’s too hot. Off camera Guy: Do it, get in there. Paul: Ok, ok ouch. Whoa, sorry where was I. Sorry rough night. Okay, so this may come as a surprise but a lot of people search for things that are inappropriate for children, so keep your little inquisitive eyeballs away from this show. Let’s go. The arbitrary theme for this weeks show is diversity. So here is my top five diversity related searches for this week. Number five chupacabre. This fabled Mexican livestock killing monster is tearing the inside of the top 1000. Chomping down on 121. Dios mio. Number four Pokémon porn. Simple alliteration. Or downfall of this civilization. Number three Gambar Pemerkosaan. I tried to find out more about this extremely popular internet search. It comes down to either being a sordid video of a Malaysian call girl. Or a killer recipe for stir fry. Either way I want a heaping scoop of that. Number two, statue of liberty. Nothing screams out diversity like a four hundred pound French chick. Made of pennies, and symbolism. And my number one diversity pick of the week is 8192 audio codec data tag. This is the mating call for a rare species of human, called dorkus maximus. They rarely come out at night because of their sever agoraphobia. And tend to nurse until the age of thirty. So who wins in a internet search off, between Swedish disco international megastars Abba, and increasingly irrelevant American rock act, Aerosmith. Well its crimazing but Abba is staying alive with 220 while Aerosmith is way further down the stairway of search heaven at 912. The only thing good to come out of that band was Liv Tyler and that really cool arcade game with the machine gun. What was it called? Revolution X, yeah. Play it. Confessions of the hipster. It can really wear away at ones faith in humanity pouring over data from internet searches eighteen hours a day seven days a week trying to bring you this show. Then you stumble on a diamond in the rough, like wedding vows, at 401. And everything seems to make sense. If just for a moment. In the spirit of this blessed exception we have written our own vows for you internet. Give me your hand. We pledge to be there for you, through hog tied grannies and topless social security benefits. Through Bon Jovi's, and big booty’s. We will always be there to bring you the most depressingly hilarious internet searches that you make. You believe me? Thank you. Um yeah. Ok it looks like me and the internet are off to our honeymoon in Aruba. Four days of Mai Thais and the He Haw dance. Until I get back, keep searching USA.